T H E   T A L E S

I.  T H E   S C I E N T I F I C K   L E S S O N                                                                                or a London Spark is put out

A tale of Boxing, Bordellos and Bristol Pluck containing some scenes of licentiousness and lewdness necessary to show the dangers that lie in wait for an Innocent Abroad for which the Author makes no apology.

II.  T H E   L A N D   P I R A T E                                                                                                     or a Firebrand meets her match

A tale of Robbery and Restitution wherein a strange collection of travellers are reduced to the condition of beasts of the forest and our heroine is revealed in all her splendour for which the Author hopes he may be excused.

III.  T H E   M E R M A I D   O F   B R I S T O L                                                                           or a Drunk is dropped in the drink

A tale of Taverns, Tars and Travails upon the high seas featuring scenes of unfettered inebriation not to be admired, an act of foolhardy bravado not to be imitated, and a resolution to the book both silly and sentimental for which the Author asks forgiveness.

IV.  A P P E N D I X

i.  T H E   P E T T Y   M U G G E T                                                                                                 or a garden Rake is stepped on

A tale in prose which contains an inestimable number of common English flowers now identified for the first time vis. each one labelled according to its latin genus thereby proving propitious to those of a horticultural bent.

ii.  A   G L O S S A R Y

of common and vulgar words with which the refined and well-mannered may be unfamiliar.

iii.  T H E   S O U T H W A R K   S T R U M P E T                                                                          a bawdy ballad

fit only for privy bum-fodder and included merely to show the depths to which doggerel                 can sadly sink.